Too OP for this post.

According to the wonky new Armory, my hunter is sporting the “BM 19/26/47” build as her primary spec. It’s early in the morning, sure, but even I knew something was wrong with those numbers. /does some quick calculations Yes, I am apparently level 101. Woo-ha! Okay, Blizz, I guess I can forgive you all that nerf business if this is the way you see fit to recompense me. …of course, I wouldn’t refuse if you threw in a free spirit beast too, eh? 😉

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Former English major strikes again.

I’ve been using the term “basement monkey” for the past year without really stopping to think where I got it from. Lately, however, I’ve had a few people ask me to stop and repeat it, making me think that the term is not as widespread as I’d assumed. I’m pretty sure I can’t assume responsibility for its creation, but I thought I’d provide a more thorough definition for those who requested it. 😉 Main Entry: base·ment mon·key Pronunciation: bās-mənt məŋ-kē Function: noun Inflected Form(s): plural basement monkeys Etymology: probably first appeared in the official WoW forums at some undetermined time …

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Upward immobility.

Well, it looked awesome when we picked it out at the saleslot. Shiny new status symbol, what’s not to like? It doesn’t even guzzle gas, though it does seem to provide a lot of it after a large meal… surely the stable hands knew how to deal with that anyway. Perhaps we should have thought about where to park it, though… War Mammoths — bigger might be better, but when you can’t get through simple doorways, it’s as embarrassing as trying to fit a Hummer in a compact space at the grocery store. Sigh.

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I’ve Been a Bad, Bad Ghoul.

He appeared out of nowhere on a lazy January evening, and forever changed the way we would see ghouls. Well, okay, let me rephrase that. 1. We’re not entirely sure if it’s a he or a she, it’s hard to tell when everything’s rotted off. The undead are funny that way. 2. I suppose that to be more accurate, it appeared out of a handful of corpse dust. Or possibly one of our dead guildies. 3. It was only lazy that evening because a good percentage of the raid spent part of the time wiping the floor with their faces. …

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Pants are obviously overrated.

This pally made me do such a double take whilst walking through Ironforge that I had to snap a picture. Five bucks says she’s played by a dude. Dear Blizzard, When you actually get around to hiring clothing/armor designers who are not horny 15-year old boys, please give me a ring. Oh, what the heck. If you want plate metal bikinis, I can give ya plate metal bikinis as well. I’m down with the Princess-Leia-in-chains style influences. But lordy, at least show skin in a way that looks planned, not like she just plain forgot to put on a piece …

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Pass the cheese, please.

There are days when you have brilliant flashes of metaphorical genius. Then there are other days, when the best simile you can come up with involves… a potato. —————— *flashback to a couple nights ago* Earnest Guild Hunter: I like my tree a lot! That’s why I put all my talents there. Tired and Slightly Drugged Me: And I respect your unwavering loyalty and principles. But… think of it this way… EGH: …? Me: Talent trees are like… a… EGH: …? Me: A potato. Yes, a baked potato. EGH: *probably wondering just what drugs I was on* Me: Well, a …

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Confessions

Dear Mages of Breakaway, I admit it, I’ve been unfaithful to you. I ask for your forgiveness, for I am weak and the siren song of baked goods is strong. There I was, minding my own business, when I glimpsed them across the aisle, in the frozen foods section. Their golden flakiness taunted me. Their grains of sugar glinted like precious jewels in the fluorescent supermarket lighting. Their promise of apple-cinnamony goodness was too much to resist. I caved and brought them home. Yes, we had non-mage-made strudel last night. And we LIKED it. That doesn’t mean we don’t want …

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Return of the Naked Bug.

So you know that dream where you’re in a crowded place and suddenly find yourself naked with everybody else clothed and staring at you? This bug is kind of the opposite of that. My poor druid hearthstoned back to Dalaran only to find herself practically the only one was wasn’t naked. Talk about not getting a memo. She quickly morphed into a moonkin to hide her faux pas. Names have been blurred to protect the innocent. Obviously the mages of the Kirin Tor had voted to uphold Rhonin’s new “nudist colony” amendment through arcane means…

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That’s the way I roll.

I’ve been trying to explain to my guildies for ages now that my hunter was smacked with the Bad Roll Bat of Doom the minute she came into existence. The only way she usually gets upgrades is through crafting, reputation items, hoarding badges like a hamster, or the occasional pity loot when nobody else in the raid needs it. This is especially bizarre given how many lifetime boss kills she’s had. No, seriously, it’s gotten to the point where I’ve given up being bitter about it, it’s just sad, inevitable fate. Somebody up there really really likes making my hunter’s …

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